Abantu benshi bakunze kujya impaka ku gikorwa cyo gufuha, aho bamwe bavuga ko gufuha ari urukundo rwinshi, kuko utafuhira uwo udakunda, abandi bakavuga ko biterwa no kutizerana. Ni mu gihe abize imbonezabitekerezo (psychology) bo bagaragaza ko gufuha ari uburwayi.
Mu buhamya bw’uwiswe Kankindi kuko atashatse ko hagaragazwa izina rye, aganira na Kigali Today, yagaragaje uburyo umugabo we amufuhira bikamubangamira, ndetse bikamutera guhangayikishwa no gushaka icyo yakora.
Ati “Tukirambagizanya yaramfuhiraga nkagira ngo ni uko tutarabana, ntarizera ko amfite neza, nitubana bizashira. Gusa na n’ubu tumaranye imyaka 6, umugabo wanjye aramfuhira, hahandi nta n’umuntu dukorana w’umugabo wansura cyangwa ngo abe yampa na lifuti ntibinkoreho!”
Akomeza agira ati “Umugabo wanjye arakabya pe! Nta gitsina gabo agira yizera kuko n’iyo mpobeye abo mu muryango wanjye biramubabaza. Yambwiye ko niba nshaka ko tubana neza nahungira kure abagabo, kabone n’iyo yaba ari se umubyara!”
Kankindi avuga ko yagerageje kugisha inama inshuti n’abavandimwe, ariko bikaba ntacyo bitanga.
Ati “Nagerageje kumuregera abo mu muryango n’inshuti ze za hafi, bakamugira inama yo kutampoza ku nkeke, ariko biranga. Inshuti zanjye zimbwira ko abiterwa n’uko ankunda cyane, akaba afite ubwoba bwo kumbura, abandi bakambwira ko ubwo atanyizera, kandi ngerageza gukora uko nshoboye kose ngo abone ko mukunda wenyine, nkabona nta gihinduka.”
Abaganiriye na Kigali Today bagaragaje ibitekerezo binyuranye, aho bamwe bemeza ko gufuha biterwa n’urukundo kuko uwo ukunda uba wumva nta wundi mwamusangira, na ho abandi bakavuga ko nta muntu ukunda undi ngo amufuhire, kuko ufuhira umuntu utizera.
Cyiza Olivier ati “Gufuha ni bibi, ariko birizana. Kandi ntibiterwa n’uko utamwizera, ahubwo ntekereza ari uko uba wumva wamwiharira wenyine gusa.”
Uwambajemariya nawe yagize ati “Gufuha ni ukudatekereza. Kuko ubona umugore cyangwa umugabo aganiriza uwo biganye ukibyimbya kandi bafitanye amateka utakuraho, nyamara wowe wavugisha uwo mudahuje igitsina ukumva ari ibisanzwe. Numva ibyo ukora bitagucira urubanza udakwiye kurucira undi.”
Kanyange ati “Gufuha ni urukundo rurenga umuntu rugatuma agira impungenge z’uwo akunda, nyuma bikabyara igitugu amushyiraho.”
Inzobere mu mitekerereze ya muntu (Psychologie) ndetse no mu by’imikorere n’imihindagurikire ijyanye n’ibitsina (Sexologie) Albert Gakwaya, na we avuga ko gufuha ari ibintu bisanzwe, ariko hakaba n’igihe bigeraho bikaba indwara, kandi ko habaho ikintu gisanzwe bita gufuha ku bantu bose bakundana, cyangwa icyo ukunze ukumva wakigenzura.
Ati “Hakabaho no gufuha bihinduka indwara, bimwe umuntu abuza undi amahoro, bigaturuka ku kizere gikeya nyir’ugufuha yigiramo, bituma yumva atari ku rugero rwo kuba yaba ari kumwe na wawundi afuhira. Ibyo rero iyo bikabije bigeraho bikaba bibi, bikica umuryango, cyangwa umwe mu bagize umuryango akabera undi umutwaro.”
Akomeza asobanura ati “Ni uburwayi buturuka ku gufuha, bukunda kugirwa n’abantu bataye ikizere ubwabo. Hari ugufuha kurenze ku buryo bigira nyir’ubwite umurwayi wo mu mutwe, bikamutera kujya arota cyangwa yibwiriza ko mugenzi we hari ukundi kuntu bigenda ku ruhande batari kumwe.”
Albert Gakwaya avuga ko akenshi na kenshi biba ku muntu nawe udafite umutuzo ku bw’utuntu agira ku ruhande, nk’umuntu uca inyuma mugenzi we, noneho akaba afite ishusho mu mutwe y’uko abikora, akibagirwa y’uko ari we bibaho gusa, akibwira ko na wa mugenzi we akora nk’uko nguko.
Ati “Icyo gihe uko amubonye asuhuza undi, bihita bimwibutsa ka kajisho areba wa muntu we, ko na we ari ko abigenza. Atekereza ibyo we afite mu mutwe we, akabishyira ku wundi, bityo bikaba byanaba n’ ubumuga. Icyo gihe mu rugo biba byatangiye kumera nabi. Iyo umuntu afushye, akenshi na kenshi, nta na rimwe biza byizanye ari ibisanzwe.”
Avuga kandi ko hari ibituruka ku ko umuntu yabayeho mu myaka ibiri ya mbere akivuka, ko hari igihe umwe mu babyeyi be yitwara nabi, ntafashe wabmwana kuzigiramo ikizere, noneho bikazatuma wabmuntu agira ikibazo gikomeye.
Agira inama ababyeyi ko mu gihe bonsa abana babo, bajya babaterura ku buryo babareba mu maso, bakabaganiriza, bakabitaho mu buryo bwose bashoboye, ku buryo nibagenda bakaza kugaruka, bongera kubikora, bityo bakarema ikizere mo umwana, akumva ko yizeye ko kugenda k’umubyeyi we bidatuma amutakaza burundu, ko ahubwo agaruka akiri uwe.
Abitandukanya na wa mubyeyi wonsa umwana yiruka, atamwitayeho, akagaruka atinze atanamwitayeho, akavuga ko uwo mwana akurana impamyi zo kumva ko ugiye wese amukunze, atari bugaruke, akumva ko uwo azaba afiteho uruhare wese azamurinda, kugirango atamuhomba nk’uko yabuze umubyeyi we.
